The Global Warming Zone

I said earlier that we have reached the Global Warming Zone. What do I mean by that?

Global Warming predictions follow a pattern:

  1. Make a prediction of DOOOOOOOOM if we do not submit to some one or other form of governmental tyranny.
  2. When the DOOOOOOOOOM doesn’t happen, point to something that isn’t actually DOOOOOOOOOOM but that you can squint at to mean we maybe are moving that way in ten to twenty years, and claim this means your original predictions were correct
  3.  Use the “something” from part two to justify asking for more governmental tyranny to prevent future DOOOOOOOOOOM
  4.  Pretend you never actually made the prediction from part 1 and say that it was always the prediction from part 3. When people call you out on it, don’t answer. Just ignore them and yell louder about the DOOOOOOOOOOM.

So it goes like this:

  1. Pay a massive carbon tax and ruin our landscapes with ugly and inefficient windmills or the glaciers will melt in 2020 and the sea levels will rise and kill us all
  2.  Okay, so the glaciers aren’t melting nearly fast enough to be gone by 2020, but they’re melting a LITTLE bit, and the smog over LA has increased, so we were still right
  3.  Pay the carbon tax and build windmills, or the glaciers will keep melting and the smog will get even worse!
  4.  When 2020 hits quietly remove the signs from Glacier National Park saying the glaciers will be gone by 2020 and ignore all of the people who call you out on it. Hire Greta Thurnbeg to yell louder.

That’s the Global Warming Zone, and we have reached that point with the Kung Flu.

  1. The U.S. did not prepare quickly enough thanks to the Bad Orange Man. Millions of people are going to die unless we go through a full martial law lockdown, which that Bad Orange Man won’t do. For proof, look at this chart showing us progressing as quickly as Lombardy did. We’re right on target to hit the Lombardy Death Zone! Oh no!
  2. Okay so weeks have passed and we clearly did not get hit as badly as Lombardy, but a lot of people are still getting sick, so we’re still right
  3.  That Bad Orange Man is bad because he isn’t arresting people who leave their homes, and now even more people will get sick!
  4.  Don’t bring up the chart saying we were going to equal Lombardy numbers ever again. Instead, pretend we all thought 100,000 deaths was the low number all along. If only the Bad Orange Man had instituted martial law this would have never happened!

Welcome to the Global Warming Zone. It’s like the Twilight Zone, but it hurts your brain more and isn’t fun to watch.


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