A Marriage and an Engagement

Recently a close friend of mine got engaged, and a friendly acquaintance I have worked with recently and communicate with regularly got married.

It is impossible not to think of marriage at a point like this. I don’t like talking about my personal life so I don’t. I’m sure people can figure out a lot by implication and assumption. That’s fine; for now it stays implication and assumption. You’ll learn more about my private life when I decide it isn’t private, and that may well be never. I’m just not the sort of guy who prefers mouthing off about that sort of thing in public regularly. I’ll never get the folks who ask for detailed advice about their sex life via blog posts, though I genuinely wish them well.

I am still out there writing, mostly through Castalia House and Superversive SF. The main reason I let this blog go by the wayside is a simple one: I’m too opinionated. I mouth off too much about stuff I don’t know nearly enough about. And I lack the experience to offer anything like guidance.

What I really enjoy doing, and I’m sure this sounds very strange to everyone but me, is critical analysis of fiction. I find it fun and fascinating. This why “You watch too much TV” doesn’t really register with me: Try watching TV like I do, pal. Some day, and probably not TOO far off, I’ll package some of my nonfiction into book form and make it a little more monetarily productive, though I like to think that every bit of cultural influence helps. I have other stuff going on in my life as well, and for the first time in awhile I don’t feel like I’m constantly wasting time, which is great.

Where am I going with this tangent? Eh, not too far. What I’m getting at is, I’m at the point in life where people my age and even younger are taking their next steps, and I’m trying to figure out how much this should bother me, if at all. On reflection…I think I’m fine right now. I am back going to Church regularly and work out daily, both of which are incredibly healthy. I make an effort to actively enrich myself every day and expect to start working more in my chosen field more soon, which is awesome. I started to dress better. I have a hobby I find fun.

It is impossible not to feel a little left behind looking at the wonderful stuff going on in my friends’ lives, but there’s no time fo wallow. There’s work to be done, and I have to keep moving forward.

And you know what, it actually feels pretty good.

Please pray for both of my friends, if you’re the type.

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4 Responses to A Marriage and an Engagement

  1. Chad says:

    Aristotle thought the best age for a man to marry was 35, and a woman around 18. You’re fine. Keep your soul up and your head down.

  2. johnjlamb says:

    If you want a spouse you should begin by praying for one. You can look up saints with intercessory power in this area if you like, but St. Joseph and the Blessed Virgin are definitely trustworthy. St. Joseph especially is said to be very helpful in this regard. You would offend God if you were to go looking for a spouse on your own without going to Him first, since He is very interested in such an important affair and wants us to go about it in a godly way, obedient to His will. Not just finding a spouse, but finding a good one: is dependent on God’s will and providence.

    I think God allows many Christians to end up with unsuitable spouses precisely because they utterly ignored Him while in pursuit of one. Indeed, many marriages are perhaps punishments for pride, rather than gifts or rewards.

    The best thing you could do to start with is to ask God if He wants you to be married, and to send you a suitable spouse if He does. Also, ask Him to purify your will so that if you do go looking for a spouse you may do so with the right intentions; since you are much more likely to find a good wife if you are seeking an authentically Christian marriage.

    In the mean time be at peace, since St. Paul says that generally it is preferable for a Christian to be unmarried so that they can spend more time with God; if you seek God’s will before all else I’m certain that it will become clear to you soon enough whether He wants you to marry, and if so whom exactly He wants you to marry. God bless.

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