We all know this article is dumb, or all who read here should (Warning: Mildly NSFW). I just find it interesting that the article practically has the answer to the question asked, “Why do hot girls not have boyfriends?”. written there word for word, yet can’t see it or refuses to admit it. To wit:
1. They usually get hit on by jerks
Sometimes the only guys confident enough to approach a hot girl are arrogant douchebags, so perhaps she is tired of dealing with that type of guy.
2. Everyone assumes they are taken
…
4. No Settling
If she is gorgeous and confident she might have very high standards and she might want to wait for the perfect guy rather than settling for whomever comes along.
5. People make assumptions
Many people feel like they will have no chance with the hot girl, so what’s the point in even trying? You never know until you go for it
There are a couple more, but you should get the point. Let’s read between the lines a bit here.
We have very attractive girls who:
- Turn a lot of guys down (“No settling”) to the point of calling several of the folks who ask them out straight out douchebags (“They usually get hit on by jerks”).
- And THEN, after that, the article gently chastises folks for “making assumptions” about hot girls.
So, hot girls are known for turning a lot of guys down, at least some of whom are called douchebags. And then they write articles like this wondering why they’re still single. Let’s, for the sake of argument, assume good motives here. So:
If they know what type of guy they want, but those guys are just not approaching them, and they’re hot enough that most guys will take them, why don’t they go up to those guys themselves and ask THEM out?
I know the sorts of girls who read these types of articles – a lot of them in fact. They’re the type of people who would laugh in the face of a good, church-going young man in college who asked them out because such a guy was a nerd. I don’t actually assume good motives here, because my conclusion wasn’t very hard to draw:
If hot girls wanted nice guys, they’d have them.
This isn’t meant to be a total indictment of hot girls. I’m also trying to make the stereotypical nice guy think: Maybe you really are a good guy, but obviously hot girls aren’t interested – if they were, you’d be going out with one. Why is that?
I have my own issues I need to deal with, so I don’t intend to sound holier-than-thou here. Reading this article just made that simple fact – hot girls could have nice guys if they really wanted them – hit home for me. It’s something to consider.
Malcolm the Cynic 
Does the nice church going boy really want the hot girl? He might find her pysically attractive but he suspects she would make a poor wife or mother, or that she wouldn’t want to be chaste as they were dating.
Well, yeah, sure, in theory. But EVERYBODY wants the hot girl. Even people who want chaste, good mothers want attractive, chaste, good mothers.
All men would be better served to worry less about the hot girls and find one of noble character. On the other hand, they’re far less easily persuaded by superficial attributes.
The flip side of this is that it is absolutely a good thing, even an important thing, to find somebody you’re attracted to (and who is genuinely attracted to you).
Attraction is not limited to physical appearance. Indeed, to so limit it would be a grave error. In my experience, it is intimately bound up with the rest of the person.
Not sure how universal this is, but a few years ago I had a conversation with a lady friend who said women, as they get older and as they move away from their college years, become less particular about their physical preferences in men. “The list” (6ft something, high power lawyer/politician/i-banker etc.) that they have becomes less important. Maybe so.
I will admit that secular dating is a f-cking wasteland, not that it’s ever been a Wonka Chocolate Factory or anything or that sort, but when I think of secular dating I think of the world depicted in Book of Eli. Now that’s depressing. Really depressing.
Yep. That (vulgar) term I’ve seen is “alpha (fux), beta bucks”: Her options get higher because her standards drop.
Now isn’t that the basis of a happy marriage? “I married him after my standards dropped because otherwise I would have been alone”. True love.
Haha. I never heard of that phrase before. I wasn’t actually going in that direction, but I think that’s interesting nonetheless. Honestly I never met a couple where the guy was the sugar daddy and cuckold.
My lady friend was implying, at least in the tone she was using, is that women become more sensible and less entitled as they age. They realize “what really counts.” Whether they truly love the guy they are engaged to is anyone’s guess.
You also have to look at the other situation. What if she gets what she wants, that her “list,” for most part, is fulfilled? Who says she loves the the Alpha and instead of settling she’s chasing after a standard that’s based out of entitlement and arrogance?
I try to stay away from these psych games, if you want to call it that, simply because I find it truly sad. As I said, secular dating is a f-cking wasteland, especially in urban areas where almost every YUPPIE is trying to become a “power couple.” It’s as if they think they’re Bill & Hillary Clinton … who wears the pants is not too difficult to figure out.
My lady friend was implying, at least in the tone she was using, is that women become more sensible and less entitled as they age. They realize “what really counts.” Whether they truly love the guy they are engaged to is anyone’s guess.
Exactly. The biological clock is ticking, and the hot guy she really wants clearly doesn’t want to settle down with her. So she settles for second best with a guy she’s not actually as attracted to but is willing to compromise with. What a lucky guy.
Basically: If a woman was not willing to date you but now is several years later that is a sign that she’s only attracted just enough to tolerate you while she enjoys the other benefits of your relationship.
And if you get in a relationship with such a person, maybe it will work out, but it’s a time bomb waiting to explode.
“Basically: If a woman was not willing to date you but now is several years later that is a sign that she’s only attracted just enough to tolerate you while she enjoys the other benefits of your relationship.”
If she’s that shallow and that filled with entitlement then she isn’t worth it.
Why don’t Good Guys Have Hot Girlfriends?
Because good guys–assuming they actually are good and not just nice–have had to develop their character and virtue, which often indicates hardship or lack of advantage in some respect or other. One of these is usually looks. At the time of life when “hot girl” and “good guy” are actually relevant as descriptions in real circumstances, appearance, certain types of risk-taking, and status are often more consequential than character. Consequently the guy who has character but is short on the other three in some regards is selected against.
On the other hand, the “hot girls” are often also hot messes in my experience.
>I have my own issues I need to deal with,
And how. The manosphere often accuses women of having “a list” and being super entitled, but that is pure projection on their part.
I’ve learned if what you “know” about the world is filtered through the Internet, you’ll grow very prejudiced, very quickly. Go out there and meet people. Start conversations you wouldn’t start normally. Do activities that will necessarily mix you with people whom you wouldn’t normally mingle with. Meeting lots of people will make you more tolerant* and you’ll be better for it.
*By “tolerant” I mean you’ll hold your tongue when somebody says something stupid, not that you will (or should) accept everything they are without qualification.
I DO absolutely disagree about women not being entitled. OF course they are; it could not be more obvious (to me, at least).
That doesn’t mean all women are bad. It doesn’t mean even entitled women aren’t worth it (sometimes, anyway). It DOES mean that women absolutely share some, even a lot, of the blame for this. You’d need to be blind not to see it.
If you want a woman (as a girlfriend or wife) but blame women for whatever it is your’re blaming them for, then why do you want a woman? Isn’t dating the enemy more trouble than it’s worth?
I didn’t say every single women was bad. However, that modern women are entitled is such an unavoidable fact I’m amazed you didn’t see it.
By the way, I am on the record, in the face of much criticism, to say that if you can’t find a woman who is suitable for marriage, don’t get married, which is overrated anyway – and vice versa for ladies.
I say it is overrated because of the words of St. Paul. It is, of course, a wonderful thing, but it is not the purpose in life for everybody. Most? Perhaps. But not all. There is no shame in being single in and of itself.
>I say it is overrated because of the words of St. Paul. It is, of course, a wonderful thing, but it is not the purpose in life for everybody. Most? Perhaps. But not all. There is no shame in being single in and of itself.
If you are speaking for yourself, I hope you actually mean it and are not just pretending that what you wanted all along wasn’t what you wanted (aka “sour grapes”).
I am now speaking for myself–the manosphere’s message damaged my view of women as a whole and made me far less likely to interact with them and made me incredibly socially anxious. I dismissed many people (male and female) out of hand because of the prejudices and the “mind reading” the ‘sphere primed me with.
Now, as for female entitlement–I am not arguing against the fact that some (or even a majority) of women are entitled. But if I go around with the thought “all women are entitled” then it makes me not want to interact with women and kills my chance that I find the one who isn’t entitled.
(And trust me, I’ve met entitled women. Despite my lack of self esteem, I still have enough sense not to give an entitled princess the time of day).
I do not mean by saying that marriage is overrated to say I don’t want to get married. I’m certainly open to it, and marriage can be wonderful. I’m just saying that if I don’t it’s not really the end of the world either. I’m open to marriage and would be happy if it happened, but I’m not going to sweat it either.