But when guys are statutorily raped they’re totally cool

This guy gets it. Right?

Yeah, a 34 year old teacher banged her sixteen year old student. Naturally, of course, this means the student is totally cool and people are unfairly persecuting the poor hot teacher who banged her underage student.

Some gem lines:

Now, she’s getting charged with felony rape, and Legend [Because, of course, the statutory rape victim is a legend because he banged his hot teacher. Get it?]  has to put up with a presumably constant stream of high-fives from his peers. It’s believed that the pair had sex on many occasions, including a car outside a church parking lot. Wow, this story keeps getting hotter sadder.

Yeah, the law totally doesn’t count and what the teacher did was a-okay because kids think what he did was cool! Did you know that graffiti should be totes legal since lots of kids find it mad awesome?

Sorry for the misuse of slang. I’ve never really been in with the cool kids crowd.

If you didn’t think the article could get dumber, you were wrong.

While Legend admits that he consented to the multiple bangings, in Utah, it’s illegal for a teacher or authority figure to have sex with a person under 18. I understand why that law is in place, but c’mon, let’s get real. Any dude who is skilled enough to mack a 34-year-old so hard that she succumbs to his advances is clearly a man, and no longer a boy. I would grant him adult status and dismiss this case immediately.

We’re going to play a game here. It’s called “Let’s count all the ways this paragraph is mind-numbingly stupid”.

  1. Apparently a sixteen year old did something so unbelievably stupid as bang his 34 year old teacher, which he knew was illegal and which has gotten her (rightfully) in big trouble, SHOULD be classified as an adult. Responsibility? Fuck it, who cares if adults have responsibility. Sex? Hell yeah! Adults have SEX! And can manipulate other people into having sex! Totally an adult now!
  2. He understands why the law is in place, but come on, when it actually happens it shouldn’t count. No, really, according to his logic statutory rape between men and women is almost literally impossible.

Wow, only two. Tell you what, we’re going to triple the score to six since both reasons were extra stupid, and should thus count for extra points.

I think I’m going to lock myself away and spend the rest of my life writing sad poetry about the stupidity of man. I’ll have a lot of material.

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7 Responses to But when guys are statutorily raped they’re totally cool

  1. Drew says:

    Statutory rape should not be a crime. It’s a stupid man-made rule.

    • I totally disagree, actually. A fifteen year old having sex with a 30 year old is absolutely criminal. No, it is not the same as normal rape. But illegal? Yes.

    • Drew says:

      You’re ignoring the whole point. It shouldn’t be illegal.

      Ye shall not add unto the word which I command you, neither shall ye diminish ought from it, that ye may keep the commandments of the LORD your God which I command you. Deuteronomy 4:2

      • Okay, thanks for the Deuteronomy quote.

        I disagree, and this is one of the clearer examples. The teacher is in a position of authority over the student. Forming a relationship with somebody you are responsible for in such a way is highly inappropriate.

        More than that, we really do need to establish a point where we treat people like adults and not kids. It has to be an absolute point. Is this perfect? Of course not. Both puberty and maturity come faster in different people. But without that measuring stick, we run into a whole host of other problems.

        And this kid was a kid. He got his teacher into serious trouble by badgering her into having sex with him. This is not a mature kid. This kid is not a “legend”. This is an idiot, and a highly immoral one besides.

  2. John says:

    But he consented! This is where age shouldn’t matter. The young man is 16, able to make his own decisions; just because he isn’t “of age” or an “adult” doesn’t mean he can’t make his own decisions. It’s society’s norms and prudishness that’s backwards. In Europe some countries’ consent is as low as 14. Why can’t ‘Merica catch up? Bunch of prudes afraid of sex. It’s just sex.

    What happened between these two was neither good nor bad. We should not judge this young man and woman – it is their own bodies to do what they wish. They’re no hurting you in anyway! Consent, safe sex, respect (when “No” means “No”) & open mindedness, that’s where’s it at.

    Heard about that story about that one married high school (male) teacher falling in love with his student? The feelings were reciprocated and they decided to move in with one another. She was eighteen when it happened. The teacher said he was just doing what his heart told him to. You can’t suppress such emotions and feelings.

    These two were living their life, why can’t you live yours? You’re just all about being judgmental. I mean, why do you even care?

    In case you haven’t realized that was all tongue-in-cheek.

    • In case you haven’t realized that was all tongue-in-cheek.

      What’s scary is I couldn’t tell for awhile.

      • John says:

        I was going to leave out the last line to see what reactions I’d might conjure, and later planned to tell you guys I was just being an a_shole and joking.

        On a more serious note –

        To me it isn’t necessarily “scary”, just sad, foolish and downright pathetic. The people who wrote what I wrote actually think this — at least when they feel that people are being too judgmental is when they pull such stunts. Especially when it comes to sex or anything bodily. All of a sudden it’s “a personal decision” (e.g. anal sex, tattoos, abortion, sexual intercourse – Yes I Did Just Call It That – in general etc. Heck, even veganism). Every time someone pulls that card I sorta wanna roll my eyes at them, but I know that’s be rude.

        My post was a conglomeration of numerous justifications and nuggets of arguments I’ve come across. It’s very much libertine. If you ever hang around ‘movie buffs’ – especially “artistic” and “creative” college age kids. guys into male fashion, bodybuilders, and “Don’t give a f*ck what you do as long as you don’t hurt anyone” types one tends to play their cards like it’s second nature. Their game is easy to learn, especially if you “get” them. Now, a modernist/post-modernist trying to be all prudish – well, you can smell that a mile away. The likeliness of such a person fooling another who doesn’t hold such views is like an Amish kid wearing English clothing (though the irony in such a comparison).

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