Well, I Pretty Much Nailed John Green (Edited for Clarity/Typos)

The author of “The Fault in our Stars”. Okay, let’s say I was 90% right.

I was having a conversation with somebody about the book and Green. I said “I’ll tell you one thing: I know Green was a Chaplain, but he’s no Christian. I don’t think he’s atheist because he mentions a “capital S “Something” in his book (meaning some vague notion of God), but he’s an ultra-liberal “spiritual but not religious type.”

The person I was talking to disagreed, and said you couldn’t be sure. Yeah, okay, sure you can’t. The man was apparently, at one time, a chaplain at a children’s hospital, which inspired him to write the book. No mention of his religion. But this person I was talking to called me over triumphantly one day and showed me something on her computer. Ha! He’s an Episcopalian! Showed me, right?

I thought for a moment and said “High or low Church?” The girl looked at me confused and said “There’s a difference?” I explained what it was (essentially, for those who don’t know, low is liberal and high isn’t), then googled for some more details.

Well, well. Look what we have here.

Green is a Christian. He worked as a chaplain at a children’s hospital, and he was enrolled in, but never attend, the University of Chicago’s Divinity School.1But he says that he is sometimes uncomfortable with identifying himself as a religious person because fundamentalist Christians have hijacked the word and given it a bad name.

By “fundamentalists” what he really means is a very small group of radicals generally found in the South, who normally don’t actually do much to make the news. He also means the WBC. But less than 1% of total Christians in the world “hijacked the word”. You keep telling yourself that, buddy.

To Green, the question of whether or not God exists does not interest him. He says that all of us are looking for meaning in life, whether through a religious lens or not. And so, the things that unite us as humans are far more interesting and powerful than religious divisions.

The man was a chaplain. He was also a fool. I don’t mean he’s stupid. He seems to me to be very smart, actually. What I mean is that he’s incredibly good at rationalizing away beliefs that make him uncomfortable so he can promote his own sanitized worldview and still call himself a Christ-follower.

Green is an independent who consistently votes for both Republicans and Democrats,4 although he is definitely an Obama fan. In a column he wrote in support of the president in 2008, he said that Obama’s policies–specifically on health care–will allow the country to fulfill its obligation to “love thy neighbor.”5 And then in 2012, he outlined his support for Obama’s economic plan, foreign policy, and stance on social issues like gay marriage and abortion.6

So Green is also a major hypocrite, who will force people to pay for healthcare whether they want to or not but supports the free choice of a mother to brutally slaughter her child with surgical instruments. He was a chaplain, guys. I really don’t think this can be emphasized enough. He did and is doing absolutely enormous harm to the world – more than folks like Joss Whedon, who at least don’t claim to be doing their work in the name of Christ.

As a moderate and an independent, he is frustrated, as many Americans are, at the state of political discourse in the country. He blames both Republicans and Democrats in Congress for refusing to negotiate about important economic policy decisions.9 Maybe they should take a lesson from his views on religion: that which unites us–our love of this country–is far greater than that which divides.

Bullshit. John Green doesn’t really believe that. Earlier in this very article we see him trying to disassociate  himself from fellow Christians because he disagreed with them. John Green thinks that what unites us is greater than what divides us, except if he disagrees with you. Then he wants nothing to do with you. He’s a liar.

Yeah, I pretty much had him dead-on.


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11 Responses to Well, I Pretty Much Nailed John Green (Edited for Clarity/Typos)

  1. Jakeithus says:

    You’re confused Malcom. It’s only because those he disagrees with are so divisive themselves, that he and those like him must disassociate. It’s not being divisive when others are divisive. If only everyone just loved one another, there would be no need to hate others.

    When it comes to how to include those they disagree with, progressive often follow the lead of Michael Scott: “This is an environment of welcoming, and you should just get the hell outta here” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ok2hcQdscMo&feature=kp

  2. Crude says:

    As a moderate

    Ha ha ha.

  3. “So Green is also a major hypocrite, who will force people to pay for healthcare whether they want to or not but supports the free choice of a mother to brutally slaughter her child with surgical instruments.”

    What’s the betting that he’s also fine with the idea of forcing people to serve at gay weddings? It’s odd how rarely “My body, my choice” applies when the “choice” in question is whether or not to bake a cake for a particular event.

    • But that’s not your body. It’s just something you do with your body, that you are being made to do under threat of law and armed forces. It’s totally different from the right to kill your kid! That’s sacred!

  4. John says:

    I don’t I have much patience with people like Green when he talks about his worldview (not tolerant of me, I know); his ‘type’ is a shape shifter who latches onto many of today’s mantras that the youth eat up on tumblr & twitter. #YOLO – that sorta stuff, or “Follow your passion because working a ‘normal’ job is uber lame.” In fact, I would like to disassociate myself with the target group that identify as “Nerds.” They’re the the nerdy/somewhat-likeable cousin of Twilight fans (the hardcore ones).

    • The more I think about Green, the angrier I get. Supposedly the man tried to use the Bible to argue for universal healthcare. How DARE a man who disavows the title of “religious person” and doesn’t care if God exists or not use the Bible to try and convince people of something. How disrespectful can you get?

      • John says:

        I think this is a good time to “separate the art from the artist.”

        Actually, I’ve been meaning to ask this (somewhat silly) question: Why do artists (tend to) get a free pass on what they do/say in their spare time but not politicians? Of course it depends on what is said (Jonah Hill apologizing for saying faggot, Shailene Woodley & Kirsten Dunst appealing to the natural dichotomy between males & females vs. Mark Ruffalo campaigning hard for anti-fracking laws). It’s a loaded question, but I’ve wondered about this for the past few months.

      • You wrote this literally WHILE I was writing my next post – check it out for my basic response.

  5. The Deuce says:

    In a column he wrote in support of the president in 2008, he said that Obama’s policies–specifically on health care–will allow the country to fulfill its obligation to “love thy neighbor.”

    Wait, he’s saying that we have an obligation to “love thy neighbor” because Jesus said so? The same Jesus who said that was the second most important commandment after “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength”? The same God whose existence Green says he doesn’t care about?

    I’m tempted to tell Green to go to hell, but there’s no real need to tell a koala to eat bamboo, is there?

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