The Robin Hood Morality Test

This has apparently been making the rounds and it just made it to the blog “Just Four Guys”, which is probably my favorite of the “manosphere” blogs (I tend to see it as the least reactionary and most “balanced” on the whole).

Anyway, they have a post up on the Robin Hood Morality Test.

The test:

The Sheriff of Nottingham captured Little John and Robin Hood and imprisoned them in his maximum-security dungeon. Maid Marion begged the Sheriff for their release, pleading her love for Robin. The Sheriff agreed to release them only if Maid Marion spent the night with him. To this she agreed. The next morning the Sheriff released his prisoners. Robin at once demanded that Marion tell him how she persuaded the Sheriff to let them go free. Marion confessed the truth, and was bewildered when Robin abused her, called her a slut, and said that he never wanted to see her again. At this Little John defended her, inviting her to leave Sherwood with him and promising lifelong devotion. She accepted and they rode away together.

Now in terms of realistic everyday standards of behavior, put Robin, Marion, Little John, and the Sheriff in the order in which you consider they showed the most morality and honesty. There is no “right” answer, and you’ll be given the psychologist’s estimate of you for each of the 24 arrangements.


Sir Nemesis of JFG writes, From both my experience in person and having seen online results, I have noticed that attitudes towards Robin vs. Marion fall into two diametrically opposite camps. These attitudes are usually based on instant reactions, and both camps find each others’ POV to be unbelievable. One camp sees Marion as having cheated on Robin, and sees his reaction as justified, while the other sees Marion as having sacrificed to save Robin, and see Robin as an ungrateful prick. Members of this latter camp seem to be prone to pedestalize women.

I answered in this order, keeping in mind that one of the markers to look out for is “honesty”. From most to least honest and moral:

Robin Hood
Maid Marion
Little John
The Sheriff

My idea is that while Robin Hood is a dick he is, if nothing, brutally honest. Marion tried to do the right thing with The Sheriff but the fact that she was so ready and willing to go off with Little John as soon as things go South tell me that Robin wasn’t completely wrong about her, and she wasn’t completely honest with him. Little John is an opportunistic conniving little ass, who has clearly been waiting for his opportunity for a good long time and is willing to say whatever he has to in order to get into Marion’s pants. And The Sheriff should go without saying.

Of course, if you know how the Manosphere tends to think one quickly realizes that the “right” response is to consider Marion a slut and believe that Robin Hood is 100% right. I don’t see it.

Interesting twist proposed: Marion tells the Sheriff she refuses to sleep with him because “Robin is the only man for her”. Robin is executed.

So, what SHOULD Marion have done?

Not gone off with Little John, for one.

By the way, this is what the test apparently says about me:

Your philosophy of life is a sad hotchpotch of the conventions of society, your own convictions and romanticism. You are not unkind, only staid and unimaginative.

Men: You see women as weak but desirable.

3.1% of people agree with me.

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8 Responses to The Robin Hood Morality Test

  1. SirNemesis says:

    Glad you like JFG.

    Personally, I see Marion running off with Little John as being the clincher that provides ex-post facto justification for Robin Hood’s reaction. Otherwise, I’d be willing to consider that she might have genuinely sacrificed for Robin and John, especially if they were to be executed.

    • Hi Sir Nemesis, nice of you to come down.

      I’m trying to look at it entirely with the information given, though. We are told:

      . Robin and John were imprisoned

      . The Sheriff will only release them if Marion sleeps with him

      . He tells Marion this

      . So she sleeps with him

      . They’re released

      Given what we know from the test, we can fairly reasonably conclude that Marion was willing to go with whoever would take her after Robin dumps her, but we have no evidence she was ever slutting it up with the Sheriff – only of this one encounter, of which we are told outright did indeed directly result in their release, a condition the encounter was dependent upon.

      Robin, in the end, may have been right, but from the information he was given he was still acting like a dick. She DID just rescue them too, after all.

      As for Little John, he can kiss my ass.

  2. HanSolo says:

    I enjoyed your write up and especially where you say that, “Little John is an opportunistic conniving little ass.”

    • Hi Han, thanks for the visit and the compliment.

      I have zero respect for Little John. The reason he’s not four is because I think he’s more weaselly and dishonest than outright evil. He doesn’t have the balls to actually blackmail women into having sex with him.

  3. moralnemesis says:

    Regarding Little John, one could read a charitable interpretation into it:

    Little John’s best friend Robin Hood is in a relationship with Maid Marion and Little John is happy for the couple. Then, the Sheriff imprisons Little John and Robin Hood in his maximum security dungeon. Little John is happy when he is released and bcomes very grateful to Maid Marion when she tells Robin how she got them out. He becomes shocked and surprised when Robin dumps Marion. Feeling guilty that his best friend is abandoning Maid Marion, he decides to do right by her and provide eternal love for her. The end.

  4. Crude says:

    Not enough information to comment on, in my opinion. I think the bulk of the value of a ‘test’ like this is in watching carefully what kind of history everyone starts attributing to the four actors involved, since the details are otherwise so bare.

    • I think you’re exactly right. That’s the point, I suppose.

      As an aside, I love how there’s “no right or wrong answer”, but my philosophy of life is a “sad hotchpotch”. Yeah, sure.

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